It was a tough decision. For years I had watched friends and neighbors
lose their homes to foreclosure and felt their pain, anguish, guilt of
being poor money managers and failures. They had waited as I had for the economy to turn around — for the miracle that would turn the situation around and allow them to keep their homes.

No savior was in sight. No remedy was going to work. No one was there to help us. Now I faced the same situation– I was going to lose my house.

“Time to muster the internal strength of an elephant with the wisdom of a sage,”I said to myself as I picked up the phone to tell the mortgage service department there would be no payment coming this month.

Unexpectedly, I didn’t feel guilt, remorse or like a failure. I felt relief. It was finally about to end. The long years of struggling to pay the mortgage, of tolerating immature, dysfunctional male roommates, of cleaning up after these roommates, of coping with the dysfunctional, drug addicted neighbors was going to end. Wow!!

Then I remembered the house hunting expedition that lead to finding this house, the reasons I liked it, the hopes and dreams of a new life in this house, and the bitter reality of the expensive repairs and drain on my financial resources and the feeling of being a slave to roommates.

Then another feeling arose. It had been a huge learning curve, but it was also a time to sit back and reflect on what I had accomplished in the few years of home ownership. I had learned a lot about home construction, home repairs and being manipulated and cheated by home service companies.

I had shared some laughs and learned about music and computers from my roommates. I had learned to say,“no”, set my boundaries and stick to my decisions. I had learned to trust my intuition about people and potential problems that could arise from those personality types.

Then there was the renewed connection with my emotions. What a tidal wave overcame me when I recognized how peaceful I felt when the roommates were gone! What a sense of victory when I finally got the bad roommates out, cleaned and repaired their rooms and restored order and sanity where there had been only chaos and anger.

A new feeling arose. An intuitive urge to appreciate the time I could now totally focus on establishing my business, relocating and connecting with like minded people, exploring the performing arts like dance, music and art in my new home. Wow! It had been many years since I spent any time with the things I loved –dance, music, art, acting. Any many years since I had enjoyed drumming lessons, Godess rituals, improv comedy …

As my mind pondered on those wonderful, warm, fulfilling moments with other women, my heart started to sing, my energy perked up and my face smiled. I had lost key important elements of me in my process of being like the average American.

“No more,” I said. “The rest of my life will be devoted to my passions and living in my skills and talents and taking care of me. For here, I draw the line in the sand–never again will I try to be normal and like others. For here on out, I just need to be me.

To the lovely souls who also found themselves in the current economic chaos.
I salute you and may we all move forward on our paths to self fulfillment just a little easier because of our experiences.

Please leave me your comments. I would love to hear some of your experiences.

In the book, The Emotionally Absent Mother, Jasmin Cori, the author, says that we have feelings of love and hate for Mom. We hate her when our needs or wishes are frustrated and the love bonds between us are too thin. Yet, because she is our Mother we love her.  Jasmin says, “Love of parents is built into the nature of being a child.”

But the love from the mother to the child is not always evident. It certainly is not evident,  if the mom has challenges in her own life.  My mom had a lot of challenges in her life which she never found the courage to face. It was sad and it hurt everyone in the family, especially me.

In these situations, mothers can find it very hard finding their love. It seems to be
so buried–buried deep under their own remorse, resentment, and woundedness.

To these mothers, motherhood is about giving and giving and giving and not feeling like they are receiving. This feeling of not receiving makes them angry, cross and bitchy. So their behavior is either expecting too much or in some examples, expecting too little. They are basically unhappy and frustrated with themselves. How did Mom get into this space?

Mom had a Mom who did not take care of her issues and challenges and so the pattern started there and has worked down through the generations. Now everyone has a similar pattern. How sad!

THE SOLUTION

Here we can ask ourselves if mom has a life of her own. Does she take the time and attention to develop into a person of her own? Has she grown up herself?

Last night on a Tony Robbins video a mother was having trouble loving both of her daughters who were so different. And Tony saw that the mother connected more with the fast, action packed personality of the oldest daughter and not the quiet, reflective, emotional, feeling nature of the youngest child. Tony explained how the Mom was not willing to feel her feelings so that made communicating and enjoying the youngest daughter more of a challenge. Motherhood and being in a family, spiritually, is about growing and seeing and developing all parts of ourselves, even if that part comes from a person you have trouble relating to.

Has your mom had a chance to see herself and be herself? Let’s help her do that
and see if there is a difference in her behavior.
Let me know.  I love success stories.

– Amber DeAnn, relationship coach, hypnotherapist, speaker, workshop leader.
“My Mother Is Driving Me Crazy” coach.  www.MindEmotionHarmony.com

If this is a new problem, it can get stuck because there is no match. Then it spins and spins like my Mac beach ball. Nothing gets done. It is “stuck.”

We get “stuck” if we try to “think” through a problem that needs a “feeling answer.”
What is a “feeling answer.” It is the answer to a “feeling question.” What is a “feeling question?” It is a question that asks “In what direction do you need to move right now with your life?  How can I change a relationship?  What do I want to do with the rest of my life?  What is the most satisfying profession for me?

These questions must be answered with the intelligence of the emotions. Didn’t know your emotions were intelligent? Most people don’t. But that is what we will be exploring in my new workshop –

Clear Overwhelm Quickly Workshop
on Saturday, April 14, 1-3:30 p.m. , Cost $25

Office of Steven Shagrin    


1934 Contra Costa Blvd, 2nd floor


next to Hitchcock Realty


Pleasant Hill Plaza


corner of Gregory Lane and Contra Costa Blvd 


Pleasant Hill, Ca
Bring paper and pen and wear casual clothes.  We will be moving and dancing.

Amber DeAnn is a Hynotherapist, DeStress Coach, Workshop Leader, Self Help Author.
Amber has been teaching these Stress Busting Workshops for several years.

Liz Mac is a dynamic NIA Black Belt Instructor. has a BA in Art/Music and is the mother of 2 boys.

For more information or to register, please contact Amber DeAnn at amberdeann@gmail.com.

Clear Overwhelm Quickly

]]> http://mindemotionharmony.com/clear-overwhelm-quickly/feed/ 0 http://mindemotionharmony.com/ask-yourself-these-questions/ http://mindemotionharmony.com/ask-yourself-these-questions/#comments Tue, 31 Jan 2012 20:16:01 +0000 admin http://mindemotionharmony.com/?p=322

Do you yell at your husband and kids, or the dog?

Are you tired of being angry at your parents or your boss or the world?

Do you feel stressed or out of control in some area of your life?

Do you have pain in my body or feel like crying or do you feel stuck?

Life does not have to be a struggle. It can be sun on your face on a cold, wintry day.

“Ready for some Freedom!”

I’m Amber DeAnn, a Destress Coach and hypnotherapist. At one time I too was angry, felt stuck and out of control. I have had major depression, anxiety attacks and had to find my way out of child abuse mentality. Then I learned how to change my life.

My mission is to help other women stand up, speak their truth, and take action to stop being emotionally controlled by others and acting like a puppet on a string. This means taking back their self respect, self dignity and self joy.

I created this website because its time to help others shift the habits and behaviors they don’t like about themselves.

WE BELIEVE that you can stop reacting to life negatively and start creating what you want.

WE BELIEVE that you have the innate abilities you need to succeed in your ventures.

IF you are ready to stop reacting to stressful situations,
If you are ready to find your peace,
Then you are ready move into your bold, calm energized self.

Then take the Stress Self Assessment on the right and click on my video to learn some more about conquering stress.

The ad said that “you can play with cards, balls, jump rope, learn a song, go kayahing…”

It said that play lowers stress, raises the immune system, improves the quality of your life, increases the oxygen flow to your brain, changes your mood…

Yes, I know.  Everyone says it but few can do it. I had a lot of trouble

getting started with it too.  But there is a secret.

STOP THINKING

I pulled  out an old Psychology textbook and looked up thinking–

“it is manipulating mental representations of information to draw inferences and

conclusions. Thinking is mental images and concepts directed toward some goal.”

There are two parts to the brain that help us reach goals.

In the last blog post I discussed why we need to play and how play affects us in a positive way and how it helps us create whatever we want.

Today I’m going to discuss how to create what we want.

Sal Rachele, founder of Sananda Mystery School, explains manifesting (creating something) as having 3 parts:

The personal creative process.

The collective creative process.

We are all struggling now with the economy and the news is getting worse every day.

See Daily wealth, a financial newsletter which says the dollar is dropping in its relationship to other currencies in the world.  And then there is the forecast for more reduced home prices in the US in the future.  Bad news– maybe yes, maybe no.

We can feel ourselves moving into fear with this news. Let’s  think about the fear that this is creating in our world. Fear produces stress and this means health problems.

What if there were a positive way to see this situation?  Can we absorb that?

Try listening to

http://www.globalonenessproject.org/videos/adyashanticomplete

Adyashanti in this video talks about fear– fear of having fear, fear of not having fear, fear of moving into love, fear of moving into unity.

He mentions that a crisis is a catalyst for change and we are definitely headed for a change.

He touches your heart and moves a new thought consciousness through your mind.

Listen and learn and let’s be ok with change — whatever it will bring.

Blessings everyone,

Amber,

Destress coach, hypnotherapist,

Health problems, illnesses, long tern diseases.

You agree it is a good idea and would be nice to live without stress daily.  But how do you do it.

Breathing

Moving   — dancing

Walking

Let your inner child out – dancing in park, swings, sing,

Shake off stress

Positive thoughts, –affirm

Visualize  in brain gym posture.